One-to-one & couple sessions (national/binational couples)
Same mother tongue or different mother tongues — two people who are not reaching each other right now.
Explained in detail
When two people from different countries hear the same sentence differently, the will is rarely the problem. I work with both sides, in German and in English.
In a binational relationship the shared language is almost always a compromise. It is enough for daily life and grows thin as soon as closeness, money, family or hurt is involved. Then the conversation slows down, one of the two falls silent — and the other reads that silence as rejection, although it is overload.
So we work on a shared vocabulary rather than on better arguing. Each side is heard out once, in German or in English. Then we define together what the ten most important words of your relationship mean to each of you: respect, family, time, help, no. Whoever knows that the same word has two meanings argues about the matter and not about the person.
- Arguments start from a word, not from a topic.
- One of you falls silent for lack of language.
- Family, festivities and outside expectations collide.
- You explain more than you speak.
- 1Each side is heard out once.
- 2We look for the point where the meaning tips.
- 3You practise two sentences that arrive in both worlds.
Three things you can do today
You need no appointment and nobody’s permission. If one of the three exercises moves something, you know the conversation is worth it.
Mother tongue for feelings
in the next important conversation
Say the decisive sentence in your mother tongue first, then in the shared language. The other person hears the tone before translating the words.
Ten words, two meanings
20 minutes, together
Write down ten words that often lead to argument between you. Each of you explains what the word meant in your family. Do not discuss, just listen.
The culture check
before family visits
Settle three questions beforehand: who decides? who pays? when do we leave? Most binational conflicts do not arise at the table, but from unclarified expectations before it.
„Two people can want the same thing and still argue — because the same word means two things to them.“